Joke 1

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray… “God, please help me. I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery.”

Lottery night comes and somebody else wins it.

Joe again prays… “God, please let me win the lottery! I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well.”

Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck.

Once again, he prays… “My God, why have you forsaken me? I’ve lost my business, my house and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lottery this one time so I can get my life back in order.”

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by the voice of God Himself: “Joe, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket.”

Joke 2

Have you heard the touching story of the young man who said to his girlfriend, “I bet you wouldn’t marry me?”

The story goes that she not only called his bet, but raised him five!

Joke 3

A blackjack dealer and a player with a thirteen count in his hand are arguing about whether or not it’s appropriate to tip the dealer.

The player says, “When I get bad cards, it’s not the dealer’s fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer has nothing to do with it. Why should I tip him?”

The dealer says, “When you eat out, do you tip the waiter?”

“Yes,” the player says.

“Well, that’s because the waiter serves you food. I serve you cards, so you should tip me.”

“OK,” the player says, “but the waiter gives me what I ask for… I’ll take an eight.”

Joke 4

One day Little Babbit walks in on his parents having sex. “What are you doing?” asks Little Babbit.

“We’re playing poker and your mom’s the wild card,” replies his father.

So Little Babbit walks out and goes into his sister’s room and sees his sister and her boyfriend having sex. “What are you doing?” asks Little Babbit.

“We’re playing poker and he’s the wild card,” replies his sister.

So Little Babbit walks out and goes into his own room. Later, Little Babbit’s father walks in. “What are you doing?” his father shouts.

Little Babbit replies, “I’m playing poker!”

“But where’s your wild card?” his father asks.

“With a hand like this, who needs a wild card?”